What Matters Now

I've been thinking a lot lately about what really matters.

Maybe some of that is getting older. Maybe some of it comes from everything I've been through over the last few years. And maybe some of it is simply realizing how quickly life moves.

I keep coming back to one question:

What matters now?

Not what mattered ten years ago. Not what I thought my life was supposed to look like. And definitely not what someone else thinks should matter to me.

What matters to me now.

Going through breast cancer has certainly been part of that for me. I don't believe you have to go through cancer or another life-changing experience to suddenly appreciate your life. I actually don't like looking at it that way.

But I do think there are experiences that make us stop and pay attention.

Being scared. Losing someone we love. Going through an illness. Watching someone we love struggle. Getting older. Or simply realizing that time is moving much faster than we'd like it to.  Sometimes those experiences change the way we look at our lives.

For me, what matters is pretty clear. My family and friends. Traveling and seeing more of the world. My home. Creating. Supporting and inspiring people I love. My creative community. Having experiences. Laughing. Being with people I care about.

I'm also becoming more aware of what doesn't matter. Everything doesn't have to be perfect. I don't have to worry so much about what other people think. I don't have to say yes to everything. And I don't want to spend so much of my time and energy worrying about things I can't control.

I'm still working on all of that. But I think there is something freeing about stopping once in a while and asking ourselves what deserves our energy and what doesn't. Creativity has always helped me do that. When we paint, write, collage, make marks, choose colors or simply put something on a page, we have a way to express what we're feeling without always having to explain it. It doesn't have to be beautiful. It doesn't have to be perfect. We don't even have to show anyone. We can just let something out. And maybe in doing that, we learn a little more about ourselves and what matters to us right now.

That's what I'm thinking about this October. Expressing more. Holding back less. Letting go of some of what doesn't matter and making more room for what does. So maybe take a few minutes and ask yourself:

What matters to me now?

And just as importantly:

What am I spending time and energy on that really doesn't?

Our answers change as we do. I think it's worth checking in every once in a while to see what the answer is now.